Christian mommy group

Start a buddy group of like-minded mommies or reconnect with your old due-date friends here. This board is for buddy groups only. Thanks!

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Postby carebear7951 » Fri Jul 16, 2010 8:09 am

Wow! I've missed out on some great discussions (don't worry, I'll catch up and tell you all of my views :lol: cause that's who I am...ha ha)

I'm Cara. I've actually been around tww a lot longer than my profile says. I started over after a hiatus. I've been on here since I was ttc my 3 1/2 yo dd! So, 4 1/2 years? And thousands of posts!
I've been married for 16 years next month and have 4 children ( 8O ) Lindsay is 10, Jared is 8, Haley is 3 and Nathan is 7 1/2 mos.
I go to a Baptist church but don't necessarily consider myself Baptist. It was just the best fit for us in our area. :) I too, am not into a set of rules and regulations but think it's all about striving to be Christ-like.
I live in South Texas. And I'm a SAHM-but will be babysitting sometime in the fall b/c ends have to meet somehow.

Homeschooling: I homeschool my 2 oldest children. They have been homeschooled from the very beginning. I never planned it before I had children but felt called to it when dd1 was very young. It took God a while to "convince" me...fast forward...dd1 is going into 6th grade and ds is going into 4th grade! We definitely have our frustrating days but overall it's the best. I like that I'm with my kids all the time (I do get out sometimes to go scrapbook w/ a friend and such...so I need my breaks to be sure!). I like what they don't know. Until this past year they didn't really know any bad words. They thought the "f word" was fart. :D And the "d word" was dumb! LOL I use a mix match of curriculum. It's much more affordable that way and I can use what I feel is best for us.

The Sex Talk: Ugh. I just ended up having this talk with dd1 not too long ago. She asked me what sex was and I had promised myself I would answer them when they asked (my mom didn't). I just explained it very "Biologically" using correct words. I was very nervous at first but then it got more natural. I stressed CONSTANTLY that sex is God's plan FOR MARRIAGE. That it's very personal and special. As for the period stuff? I got her a book when she turned 9 by American Girl "The Care and Keeping of You". Great book!!!!!!! I highly recommend it!

My struggles daily: my temper (yelling), making time for quiet time, knowing how to incorporate God and the Bible into every thing w/o turning my kids off of it.

Question of the Week: How do I envision the husband and wife role? This is a real issue for me. What I envision and what happens in my house is different. I envision a husband that leads. A husband that prays aloud. A husband that prays aloud with the kids. My dh is, however, not a leader. And to be a submissive wife...I don't think I should try to change my husband. I am a leader (by nature). So I fight that all the time...the urge to "make" things the way I envision it.

Ok, so now you know all about me! LOL
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Postby orionslight » Mon Jul 19, 2010 6:20 am

im jaimie and have been a member of tww sice just before i got pregnant for my 3 yr old daughter. i have been married for 13 years and we have 9 children and 1 on the way. they range from 15yrs to 16 mos. we goto a tiny little methodist church as we live way out in the country between 2 tiny little towns in michigan. they are nice and laid back and preach from the bible and have helped me alot in my quest to be a christian (tho i am still learning) i am in school and lookin for work.

Homeschooling: i homeschool my son noah, who will be 8 next week. my other kids go to school in town near where we live, but it is a very tiny school lol. i HS noah as he has ADHD and idont feelthat they have the knowledge to deal with him and understand that he is not *bad* just that he has a different way of learning and dealing with things. we started atthe tail end of the school year this year and got awesome results. he loves to learn and if he is in an environment he is secure in he responds so well.

the sex talk: i have talked with my older boys about it and just let them know if they had anymore questions to come ask me. we are very close (i was 15 when justin was born) and am comfortable with our relationship enough to know that if anything comes up they will let me know.

my struggles:my temper, swearing :( , being a good leader and teaching my kids chrstianity without being overbearing.

Question of the Week: How do I envision the husband and wife role? well this is kind of difficult for me. my husband and i are not yet on quite the same page with being christians, tho he will go to church. so i have way different ideas than he lol. my hubby is not much of a leader. he is very passive and sends me in to do all the dirty work. i am very outspoken and honest and he is not. however he is complimentary in other areas, such as doing the icky jobs i dont want to do. so not necessarily the traditional relatiionship, but most of the time it works. thanks for asking me to be a part of this grp :)
Baby Ireland born 4-18-14 healthy and happy :)

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Postby Gray123 » Mon Jul 19, 2010 7:13 am

dee12h - We both grew up in very spiritual environments, where scripture study and prayer were a major part. We wanted it to continue in our relationship, so we incorporated it into our dating and it has continued. Now, we do have days when one of us will be tired and the other has to do it all (read and say the prayer), but it's SO worth it. It brings such a sweet, calm spirit to our home and relationship. We do notice that when we don't kneel together every night that this Spirit starts to fade...We quickly get back into the practice and then everything is renewed. It is kinda hard to wrangle our 2 year old and 11 month old into sitting still while we read and pray, so we usually read right after dinner when they are still "strapped" into their chairs at the table. Sofia, our oldest, always says "read momma/daddy" when we are finished with dinner and says "prayers" when its time for bed. I love that they are getting into the habit this early!
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Postby BeccaM » Mon Jul 19, 2010 7:22 am

Just popping in again---I see this thread has taken off! :) I too have missed discussions and don't have much time to comment, but....

Homeschool--Well, you probably, if you read the thread already, know how I stand on homeschooling! We are definitely going to do it with our children. I see so many positive benefits from homeschooling, it would be too long to list them right now.

the "big" talk--Honestly, I am rather far away from that right now, with my first one still on the way :P. But I must say, I think, as Christians, we must take into account that it is more than what we just tell our kids. The talk is important, don't get me wrong. But I am only 21 years old right now, and I was a teenager and unmarried just a couple of short years ago. I think what got me through was not just what my parents talked to me about directly relating to sex and relationships, but it was the example they gave as a married couple, it was the relationship I had with them of trust and confidence in their love for me, and it was their prayer to the Lord on my behalf. Because we can never forget that there is an enemy out there, and he would love to deceive our children into thinking that abstinence is "silly" and to get them to give into their temptations (which we all have--temptations, I mean). So the protection and prayer of my parents helped shelter me from those difficulties, to some degree. And by God's grace, I got married at 20 without even kissing another man but my husband. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

My struggles--Gosh, there are a lot of them. I think a big one is seeing myself as God sees me, rather than constantly picking on my faults and feeling guilty and down about that. Whenever I focus more on the Lord, I feel more cheerful and my attitude is way better! It's a matter of practice for me.

Question of the week: I am sure this is a hard one for every wife. We want our husbands to take control, and yet we so often forget to yield that control. Or at least I do :wink:. I have been blessed with husband who was raised from childhood in a godly home with good examples. He has his faults, but at least I know he is generally willing to change, if God shows him that he needs to. I sometimes I have to bite my tongue, walk away, and remind myself of God's heart for our family to be in order, with the husband as head and me submissive to that. It can be hard on me, though that isn't always a bad thing. I think my biggest issues (which is all my fault) is that DH is not likely to get upset at me when I start criticizing him or losing my cool. He is patient and even keeled, generally. So I can't use his reaction as a means to keep me from doing that, KWIM? If he got angry, I would be more likely to be quiet, but I think God wants me to learn through this to do what is right, regardless of what people think of me or what their reactions are. It's hard for me to put into words, but that has been my personal challenge recently.
Isaiah, born Nov 14th, 2010, @ 39 weeks, 2 days. 8 lbs 2 oz. All natural hospital delivery.
Simon, born Mar 23rd, 2013 @ 39 weeks, 3 days. 8 lbs 4 oz. Our first home birth!!

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Postby BeccaM » Mon Jul 19, 2010 7:24 am

Gray123 wrote:dee12h - We both grew up in very spiritual environments, where scripture study and prayer were a major part. We wanted it to continue in our relationship, so we incorporated it into our dating and it has continued. Now, we do have days when one of us will be tired and the other has to do it all (read and say the prayer), but it's SO worth it. It brings such a sweet, calm spirit to our home and relationship. We do notice that when we don't kneel together every night that this Spirit starts to fade...We quickly get back into the practice and then everything is renewed. It is kinda hard to wrangle our 2 year old and 11 month old into sitting still while we read and pray, so we usually read right after dinner when they are still "strapped" into their chairs at the table. Sofia, our oldest, always says "read momma/daddy" when we are finished with dinner and says "prayers" when its time for bed. I love that they are getting into the habit this early!


I really admire your perseverance in this, Gray! We want to incorporate the daily habit of spending time reading the Bible and worshiping with our children, as well. I can see how challenging it can be, but like you said, the benefits for family life are huge, and it must make God so pleased to see even little children learning to serve Him in daily life!
Isaiah, born Nov 14th, 2010, @ 39 weeks, 2 days. 8 lbs 2 oz. All natural hospital delivery.
Simon, born Mar 23rd, 2013 @ 39 weeks, 3 days. 8 lbs 4 oz. Our first home birth!!

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Postby carebear7951 » Mon Jul 19, 2010 7:57 am

Can we have a master list as the first post or something?? So as we start to get comfortable and do more "personals" we can keep track??? Thanks!

Jaimie! wow! 10 kids...I wish I had the mentality and perseverance to have more. But I think 4 is my limit. And my dh's!

Becca-you just strengthen my resolve to continue homeschooling. You are so articulate (in getting your point across) and seem very mature for your age! *to me, 21 is very young. LOL...I'm 34! Thanks for that! I need all the strength in my resolve...that I can come up with. Ha ha

gray-that is so great. I wish we had started doing that kind of thing when we were dating. I think it's so awkward to approach him about it now. Funny I feel that way. We've been married for 16 years (in August) and you'd think it'd be more comfortable at this point...Neither of us are very comfortable praying aloud. I've NEVER heard him pray-even with the kiddos!

I hope everyone is having a good day so far. :) It's Monday here. My 3yo (Haley) is very high maintenance and has not let me down this morning. :? My 10yo (Lindsay) is at a VBS at a church we don't attend. (I trust them for the most part...but it's a little nerve-wracking being that I'm used to having my kids with me 24/7. And my boys....the baby is sleeping (so I should be cleaning....or working somehow). My 8yo wants eggs for breakfast.

Can I make that my question for the week or day or whatever? Those of you who already have children: Do you cook breakfast in the mornings? or is it cereal/waffles/etc???
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Postby MightyMarj » Mon Jul 19, 2010 8:50 am

For last week's question, my DH is absolutely the spiritual leader in our house, which is amazing to me considering he was saved only 3 years ago. I want him to be the head of our household, but sometimes my pride gets in the way, and I'm constantly having to keep myself in check. He is so patient that it's easy to walk all over him if I'm not careful.
Gray - We so need to start doing that! Great idea doing it after dinner when they're still strapped in.

Carebear - I make both kids whole grain organic instant oatmeal with fruit in the morning and sometimes toast as well for DS. When they get older, I may start doing eggs and such. But right now, DS hates eggs (no matter how much cheese I smother them in!), and DD is too young. Plus, I am NOT a morning person, yet another area God is working on, so I try to keep it simple.
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Postby orionslight » Mon Jul 19, 2010 10:42 am

Those of you who already have children: Do you cook breakfast in the mornings? or is it cereal/waffles/etc??? LOL i totally wish i was martha stewart/superwoman but alas, i am not. thank God for kellogs and post and heck yes even store brand cereals!!! LOL!!! the only breakfast i have time to cook is when i cook it for supper :)

carebear-sorry you are having a tough day...it can be hard when kids are clingy. my baby will get that way sometimes but then he gets mad if i pick him up and mad if i put him down..sometimes ya just cant win.

mightymarj-that sounds like a good breakfast!

becca-if any ideas of incorporating bible and worship come to mind, i would love ideas :)

just hanging out at home today, i have womens group tonight which i enjoy. so i am off to get my school stuffs in order, have a geat day ladies!!
Baby Ireland born 4-18-14 healthy and happy :)

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Postby dee12h » Mon Jul 19, 2010 2:14 pm

I usually don't cook breakfast. We do cereal, breakfast bars, etc. DH usually leaves early, DS doesn't eat that much yet & I'm also NOT a morning person? :)

I will update the 1st post w/ a list of everyone who's joining. Great idea. :)

The reason I ask about husband/wife roles is it's so hard to talk to ppl about this IRL. I feel like they are either 1) encouraging me to do the wrong thing & ignore my role or 2) judging me for having doubts. B4 I married I was all about male leadership & everything, but I envisioned marrying someone different. lol! Someone perfect I guess. Who couldn't follow someone perfect all the time, right? :) (the purpose of this is NOT to complain about DH, but more to explain why I have a hard time) He is 2 yrs younger than I, so I think that's part of it. He was 20 when we married, so still really immature. And I guess I just thought he made (or tried to make) dumb decisions all the time. I was not willing to ruin a part of my life by following what I KNEW to be the wrong/bad decision. And honestly, looking back, I really think we would be in more trouble had I not stood my ground on some things. Is that horrible? I know it is, but what's the alternative? It scares me to death sometimes. ESPECIALLY now that we have a kid. Ruining my life is one thing, but I cannot stand by & see my son suffer bc of someone else's wrong decision. I just can't do it. Maybe God will change that- hopefully. (this sounds like DH is a terrible person, He's not. I'm just talking about foolish immaturity, NOTHING evil or bad at all!)

I still believe that in "basic direction of the family" he should lead, & I want him to. Like where we live, what job he takes, whether I stay home or work, what church we go to. Also spiritually, I have no problem, like leading family devos & things like that. I am fine w/ that stuff, & sometimes think his leadership stops there. I mean do you think it applies to things like how I wear my hair or what curtains to buy (those aren't big deals). I'm trying to think of a good example....

... hmmm, I have to go, but I've typed too much to start over. lol. I'll post when I think of a better example. or maybe someone else has one.

I also want to say that I do love helping him meet his goals in life & not just chasing after my own (career & stuff), I just think I need help on the little (or big), day to day decisions.
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Postby BeccaM » Mon Jul 19, 2010 3:00 pm

Dee--I see where you're coming from. I wish I had more time to express what I think, but supper duty calls! :) DH and I are going through "discipleship" right now. It's something our church teaches to young couples just starting out, to give them a good foundation in Christian living and working together as a couple and family. From what I've been learning, our husband's leadership really does extend to everything. Now they teach that, with the hope that the husbands will be learning at the same time to respect and honor their wives. But, regardless, I am trying to rune everything by him, unless my husband has said that he doesn't mind and he leaves it up to me, so to speak. It's more a matter of being under spiritual "covering", if you know what I mean, rather than anyone thinking that men are smarter than women, or any of that! Of course we know that's not true. My DH would be among the first to admit that without me this house would probably run down quickly, and also that he needs my support and judgment. But he has the final say.

I think when we respectfully appeal to them, not trying to get our way, but truly trusting them to make the right decision and then forcing ourselves to go with what they decide, even if we don't like it, then we are in the long run boosting their self esteem and yielding to their God given role as head. When we don't, we are usurping that role. And it's really really hard when we think they are making a bad decision, I know :(. But the truth is, it helps us trust God more, because we have to believe that God will intervene and teach our husbands through their mistakes (which I have seen Him do a lot). And it also helps them, through those mistakes, to realize that they need to take their role seriously, because a lot of responsibility rests on their shoulders.

I am not trying to preach, at ALL! :) Just sharing with you what I have been learning the past couple months, because it has really helped me put everything into perspective more. I am definitely not perfect. I have to put this in practice every day myself, and it's not always easy, but it is helping our marriage strengthen.

Thank you for sharing this, and bringing up this topic! It has really gotten me thinking!

EDIT: I've learned that there's nothing wrong with talking about things with your husband and expressing your feelings, though! This has nothing to do with me being stepped all over. I have a right to express how I feel in an appropriate way. My issue is, when I feel crossed or annoyed, I clam up and make things worse. An issue I have to work through.
Isaiah, born Nov 14th, 2010, @ 39 weeks, 2 days. 8 lbs 2 oz. All natural hospital delivery.
Simon, born Mar 23rd, 2013 @ 39 weeks, 3 days. 8 lbs 4 oz. Our first home birth!!

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Postby carebear7951 » Mon Jul 19, 2010 4:10 pm

Some great stuff!!! (dee and Becca) I think my hardest thing is that my dh is too sensible ( :lol: totally tongue in cheek) He would have us save lots and I would have no new clothes *stamps foot* :wink:
We come from such different backgrounds and I think it's been a good thing in the end. A good mixture. His parents are Christians and save every penny. Mine aren't (although I was a Christian before dh was) and spend every penny-quickly. So, we've kind of met in the middle.
Back to the leadership thing (don't know how I got off on that). I *think* I would like my dh to make more of the decisions and be more of a leader (I say *think* because what if I hated it? I could easily be the wife that tries to run over her husband :oops: ) but that's not who he is. So, if I try to force him to lead...then I'm not really letting him lead, am I? Does that make any sense at all to y'all? LOL I'm a mess today. Baby is teething BADLY. It's almost through and he's cried a LOT today. And Haley (my 3yo) is always high needs...but today it's been even more so. I feel like a dishrag. Ha ha!

dee-I didn't think you were badmouthing your dh. I know exactly what you mean. And I think you have every right and responsibility to attempt to stop him when you see a cliff coming and no parachute in site! But, if he insists I think it's our responsibility to let them decide....just my opinion.

Y'all are so right...the world has such a different thing to tell us. (ie that we should wear the pants and tell our hubbies what to do and when to do it...)

Uh oh...baby's awake again. :roll:
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Postby Ahavati » Mon Jul 19, 2010 7:02 pm

Hi guys! I'm stopping by to say hey and introduce myself. I'm Cassandra, SAHM to 4. Two boys ages 8 and 7 and two girls 2 (in August) and 4 months. I homeschool as well and was when I was a kid as well. I don't call myself a Christian really. I more or less call myself a messianic believer. But Dee invited me anyway so I came by :)

We aren't part of a congregation right now. We were but didn't agree with the way things were. Hmmmm I will type more later. We have been moving all weekend and Internet will be on Wednesday. So I will def be back to catch up on all the topics!! ( I hate typing on my phone lol)
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Postby carebear7951 » Mon Jul 19, 2010 9:05 pm

:hi: Cassandra-forgive my ignorance, but what is a "messianic believer"? I googled it before asking and it appears to be a person who is Jewish but believes in Jesus as the savior?? If I'm wrong I hope you'll enlighten me! :D

Ok, off to bed. My wonderful dh got me a milkshake tonight to ease the "pains" of this day. LOL (I don't know if it really works or if it just makes me gain weight...but it sure was yummy!)
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Postby orionslight » Tue Jul 20, 2010 7:09 am

heya cassandra :) just dropping by to say hi to everyone quick!
Baby Ireland born 4-18-14 healthy and happy :)

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Postby katiejo » Tue Jul 20, 2010 8:20 am

I keep forgetting to check here! I've been so busy with the new baby that i don't get to post too much.
I could have written the exact same thing as carebear about the roles in the home! We are working on a "family schedule" & have decided that we will have at least a short family prayer/scripture reading time. DH will lead it, because he feels that it's his place to be the spiritual leader & right now (and since the kids have been born) i have been filling that role.
As for breakfast...i am NOT a morning person! Most of the time the boys get cereal, oatmeal or breakfast bars. I have to watch ds#1's diet very closely, so we rarely do waffles or donuts.
To those of you that homeschool: do you REALLY like doing it? I'm afraid i'd hate it. :oops: DS#1 has Asperger's, so it's very important that he has structure (something else i'm really bad at :oops:) & i think that the intervention he's getting in the public schools is much more than i could give him by myself.
Jaimie - i think it's so cool that you have 10 kiddos! I'm amazed at large families & how they make it work!
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