WWYD - leftover frozen embies

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WWYD given the following options for your leftover embies?

Have them destroyed
13
21%
Donate them anonymously and never know what happens w/ them
49
79%
 
Total votes : 62

WWYD - leftover frozen embies

Postby tdg119 » Thu Sep 03, 2009 11:02 am

I am facing the decision of what to do w/ my 2 leftover embies. I'm only a few days away from 2nd trimester w/ twins.

I definitely don't plan on using the embies in the future (even if, god forbid, something goes wrong w/ this pg) and can't see paying for storage much longer.

The options my clinic provide are:
A) Destroying them
B) Donating them anonymously; which also means that I would never know what happened to them (they don't tell you if a child results from them)

Just interested to see WWYD?
Tiffany (29 ) and Ron (37)
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Postby lukesmommy » Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:03 pm

I voted to donate them.

I could never destroy my children but then again, I would have a HARD time donating them and knowing that I could possibly have biological children out there, kwim?

We never had the option to freeze any embies but DH and I talked about it beforehand. If we were in your shoes... we'd probably just pay the fee for as long as we could. There is always an option of doing a cycle where the babies were implanted during a non-fertile time of your cycle... basically you are reabsorbing your babies and some people have better peace with that.

You're in a tough spot and I wish you the best of luck! Congrats on the twins, btw! :)
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Postby sherry2010 » Fri Sep 04, 2009 5:05 am

oh that is a tough one...idk how i could do eigether one of those things. have them destroyed or give them up and have children potentially walking around, in the world without me. hmmmm....knowing me, i'd likely be scrapping for storage for the duration of my decision making, which would be, oh about 25 yrs or so, lol.

idk how much it is, but that is one tough call. i don't think i have the strength to donate such a thing to people i don't even know...toughie.

gl on that decision, it isn't an easy one for sure!! hugs, sherry


ps- i like the PP's idea, about putting them in during an infertile time..then they are still part of you...AGAIN:) i guess the ivf would cost alot though..unless insurance pays. it would be a peaceful decison.
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Postby Tracylynn » Fri Sep 04, 2009 8:35 am

Very tough decison and one my DH and I talked about during our IVF journey. Thankfully we had none to freeze.

I personally couldn't do either of those 2 options. I would continue to pay for storage and I liked Lukesmommy's idea about putting them back in during a nonfertile time. I would definitely do that instead of the other 2 options.

Good luck with your decision. It's such a tough one!!
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Postby flowerygirl_51 » Sun Sep 06, 2009 3:21 pm

Before I got pregnant, my husband and I tried for 2 years. We thought he might have a genetic disorder that would make him completely unable to father children (long story, obviously that's not the case, thank GOD!).

But when we were going through that dark and very difficult time, one thing that brought me hope was the idea that frozen embryo adoption was an option. I was adopted as a baby, and I always wanted to experience pregnancy and having a child "of my own". I knew the frozen embryo route wasn't exactly that, but to me, it seemed to be the best of both worlds.

I know it must be a difficult decision, but hopefully that gives you food for thought. I am sure that if those embryos get adopted, they will certainly go to a loving family who has obviously tried other ways of TTC before resorting to this.
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Postby 27jillfinallypreggo » Sun Sep 13, 2009 5:52 pm

we have four left and I am going to store until we try for #2. If we have leftover after #2 I think we are going to donate--I want to give them a chance and know that if I had needed to have some sort of donor I would have really appreciated but it will be hard to give them up. I wanted them so badly and went through too much to just destroy I think but its a tough, tough call and one that each person has to make individually without being judged for whatever they do!!
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Postby ashand888 » Tue Nov 03, 2009 8:50 pm

Our clinic doesn't even offer the option to donate them to other people/couples due to liability reasons, potential lawsuits, testing they want to do on them ahead of time to rule out any infectious diseases in mom/dad, etc. Our options are keep them frozen (indefinitely), donate them to research or have them destroyed. So far we're keeping them frozen so we can potentially use them in the future. I also know that some women who are morally opposed to destroying them will have them put back in their bodies but at a time when they're not fertile so they're highly unlikely to implant but yet they're not destroyed per se either. It's a tough decision for sure!
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Postby Blakes_Mummy » Wed Nov 04, 2009 1:42 am

Lurking to ask a question...

With donating & not knowing if it results in a child or not...
What happens with the medical history of the woman who's egg it was? Do they keep that on file so that if there's an issue one day down the road they have a whole family history on the bio mother? I'm assuming they would right? Which would also mean that there would be SOME way of tracing this, whether you trace it or the child traces it sometime down the track? Is there any kind of formal protection for all parties?
Excuse my ignorance on the subject.. Not meaning harm by it, just geniunely curious.

I'd like to say I'd donate but until I'm in that position I can't say what I'd do.
GL, it's not an easy position to be put in. If only there was another option of you choose & don't tell me what happened.
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Postby ashand888 » Wed Nov 04, 2009 7:49 am

Blakes_Mummy- I think that is one of the big reasons that our clinic does not allow you the option of donating any leftover embies to other women or couples- potential liability, traceability, lawsuits, etc down the road. In a way I think it's too bad since there are so many women who would love the gift of someone else's donated embryo. However, at the same time, I can see their reasoning as it could potentially make them liable should the child have a medical condition that was genetic that whoever received the embryo had not been told about, the biological mother and father of the embie decide they don't like the recipient should they ever meet, etc.

Also, as terrible as it sounds, our clinic said that there are some women who think that paying for IVF should somehow entitle them to a "healthy" baby and, should the child end up having allergies, medical conditions, etc then they are very upset and feel as if they have been "cheated". I know this is probably very unlikely but it does happen and, at least with your own embies you know it's your own genetic material and that it could have occurred whether it was an IVF or non-IVF pregnancy. You are also given the option as to whether or not you want genetic testing performed on your own embies prior to transferring them to help rule out conditions like Downs and other trisomies and if you were to receive a donated embryo there is no guarantee that they would have undergone this screening so having a baby with a medical condition is possible (though you can't screen for everything so it's possible with any embryo or pregnancy).

The ethics of this topic are so complicated and I'm not sure if there is any one right answer!
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Postby Jeniferslp » Sat Nov 21, 2009 8:29 pm

We have 8 leftover, and DH and I have decided that when we are ready we will donate them. Good luck!
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Postby heartchya » Wed Dec 30, 2009 2:56 pm

I would totally donate them. Giving an IF couple the chance of having a baby is the greatest gift, regardless of if you know them or not.
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Postby bethann » Wed Dec 30, 2009 7:33 pm

We also decided we would donate...but unfortunately had none left to freeze. I would want to give an IF couple the chance of having a child b/c I would want that chance given to me if I would have needed it.
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Postby lami » Thu Feb 25, 2010 6:01 pm

We sadly had none left to freeze, but I dont believe in getting rid of babies. We had talked about the possibility before and decided we would give all embryos a shot at life. We also asked for a slower IVF protocol if you will to limit the number of eggs we had, it would just have been too hard for me after struggling with fertility.

I like some girls response that you could implant at a non fertile time if you dont feel comfortable donating.

Donating is a great option too, plenty of women rely on this to create loving families.

Good luck with your very hard choice!!
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Postby zodiacbaby » Sat May 15, 2010 6:04 pm

Donate.
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Postby irishsweetie2003 » Sun May 16, 2010 12:19 pm

It's a join decision there and not one to take lightly... After I had my first with DH (but my 3rd) I swore I wouldn't want any mroe while I was PG with him.... But then after a surprise pregnancy and loss... My heart changed and a part of me felt like I was missing something. I needed one more. I had 4 frozen 5 day blasts left. I was going to distroy them sense my husband didn't feel comfortable with someone else raising our children and not knowing how they were caring for them.
So I kept them frozen... I am definately done after this pregnancy, and I am now faced with the same question. Here in our state, they are tryng to make it illegal to destryo embryos.... So, I'm also on a time limit.
Hard dicisions.... Very hard. I would hold onto them at least untill your twins are two before making any decisions....
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