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TTC Advice and Tips

BFN :(

It's been a long and winding journey as most of you can relate to. I had my one and only child when I was 18 and conceived him fairly easy considering I was so young and naive. I do remember having to take a few negative tests before I got my BFP with him. I became pregnant again in June of 2013 a month after removal of my Mirena IUD and again in August 2014 however those two babies are my angel babies. Miscarriage is devastating and I really thought I would become pregnant this month (2nd cycle) since mc. My friend from work suffered a mc three months before finding out she was pregnant again (we found out the same week) as long as two more friends from work due in May like I was. I can't help but think I should be getting ready to find out what I'm having, not ttc again. This past cycle I have used cb digital advanced OPK and got 9 days of flashing but no peak. When I called they didn't offer much help. I don't temp or chart I already feel kinda silly for being so obsessed with ttc because with every pregnancy it wasn't like that. Anywho! Last month AF came on the 14th of Nov. with spotting on the 13th. I've had nothing but cm and yesterday after I poas I had goldish stretchy cm ?? I also had spotting around ovulation or close to it, which I had with one pregnancy. I don't feel pregnant necessarily (intuition) but I have had a few symptoms. I'm cramping but mostly on the sides, now it is more of my abdomen. I know AF is on her way. I took my last blue dye HPT this morning with FMU and BFN. I'm disappointed and impatient I just thought I would fall pregnant after my mc. I've decided this month I'm not going to OPK or TRY not to obsess over ttc and focus on other aspects of life like the holidays with my son and boyfriend. I'm going to workout to gain energy and possibly start to look for a better job. (Didnt want to do if I was pregnant) I have read while stalking this sight that when you start to not obsess over the process is when it will happen. I need to let go for now. Of course I will still pray for a baby of our very own that I will be able to hold in 9 months! Hapot holidays everyone and sept 2015 sounds like a great month for a baby ;)