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Trying-to-Conceive Blog

Trying-to-Conceive Blog

If you’re anything like me, you’re reading everything you can get your hands on when it comes to trying to get pregnant. Thank goodness for the Internet – I don’t know how anyone got pregnant before the advent of personal computing….

We have a place here on TWW for ladies to tell their BFP stories, as well as a spot for submitting their symptoms to determine if they might be pregnant. We have a wonderful TTC community where you can get valuable support and ask questions. But until now, we didn’t have a spot for the detailed monologue of your trying to conceive experience.

Introducing the Two Week Wait Trying-to-Conceive Blog. This is where you can create your very own blog of your TTC experience—every detail, blow by blow. Note that you’ll need to create an account with us first in order to create your blog. It’s free, of course. That’s how we roll here at TWW.  *there is a 24 hour waiting period on new accounts before you'll be able to start posting to your new blog.  In the meantime, have a look around and get to know the site!

Happy blogging!

2ww: AF

So, the title says it all.

Aunt fucker Flo is here.

I'm literally broken this time. I've done all I physically can and can afford to do. I feel so lonely right now, but I know I have you guys.

I feel like those I'm speaking to are sick of hearing me say "well it didn't work this time." They're running out of positive things to say. I just feel as if I'm in pieces. I'm not myself and it's not OK. I've lost myself in this process as we all do from time to time. 

 

Love,

Hopefulmum2b

My thermometer is in perfect health, thank you very much

My chart is a tad odd this cycle. I wake up every morning thinking will it? wont it? Just a little bit? I promise I have tested my thermometer thoroughly and these just are my actual temps at the moment.

Anyhoo it probably means sweet Fanny Adams. Tell me rather about disappearing lines people, do THEY mean anything?

Dr Google says..."According to OB-GYN Kameelah Phillips, a primary reason the pregnancy line disappears is because you’re testing too early. For the most accurate results, you’re supposed to test two weeks after you ovulate. "If the pregnancy is very early, the hCG level in your urine may just meet the threshold for being detected. You will see a faint line that can disappear over time," Phillips says to Romper in an email interview."

My ephemeral line was, admittedly, flipping faint to begin with but apparent within a minute or two so I thought I'd get on with my baking and go back when it had dried because lines tend to darken a tad when dry. So I beavered away in the kitchen for an hour then stepped into the loo and my line was gone!!!! 

Is it indeed just too early or are cheap dipsticks prone to this villainous act of dark magic?

 

2ww: Here's a fun game!

This fun game is called trying to conceive, or inviting a baby into your life it's all the same in the end. 

You will need:

1. Two people who want a baby.

2. Somewhat functioning reproductive organs.

3. A normal sane life.

4. Sperm and an egg.

*BONUS ITEMS*-Pre conception vitamins, Basal Body Temping kit, OPK kit, preseed, home insemination kit. 

Rules (Game must be played once a month):

1. Try doing the 'baby dance' around ovulation days.

2. If that doesn't work, use one or two of the bonus items the next month.

3. Add all the fucking items into the game.

4. Now each month, wait two weeks for signs that may just infact be your period coming.

 

END GOAL: If you win, at the end of the two weeks you get a positive pregnancy test. YAY YOU!

If you lose, you lose your sanity a little each time and get a lovely visit from the red mistress herself-your period.

 

PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

Age restrictions apply.

 

 

Keep going girls! It's only two weeks....said none of us ever.

Love,

Hopefulmum2b

2ww: Driving me/myself/and I crazy

So I think I'm about 5 or 6 dpo...and I can't stand the fucking wait. Out the window with being 'relaxed' and 'not looking at my period tracker everyday' and 'Not sneakily checking my CM then googling 5dpo yellow CM' into google at every opportunity. UGH! I literally sit and wait for a twinge. I squish my boobs so much you'd think I'm prepping for a page 3 photoshoot. Then ofcourse after all that squeezing they feel sore! 

I'm mainly feeling down because I feel a bit 'periody.' I'm due in about 8 or so days and I can feel slight periodyness in my womb I swear! Feeling very emotional, wanted chocolate and ever so slight pains. My husband is happy as larry, and got totally pissed up to the max Saturday saying "I drank like that because I just know it's going to happen this month." I sit there trying to stop my face morphing into that of a demon silently saying to myself "OH YEAH!!??!?!??!! Like you did every other fucking month!!!?!?!! And we already have a low sperm count to deal with so thanks for getting pissed with your mates and possibly further ruining your sperm!!!" But instead I calmly say " I don't think we will." Because positive Penny has died and been buried deep somehwere within me. 

We are only making these changes to have a baby, and I feel like I take it very seriously. But my dear husband just thinks he has to behave until the two week wait arrives. I have shown him multiple articles now about how long it takes for sperm to recover.

I feel I'm just mentally prepping for a BFN, because I've tried prepping for a BFP and it's just brought me so hard to the ground. I feel like I'm doing time in a weird prison. I know I'm no where near out yet, guess I'm just emotional.

From your emotional wreck of a person,

Hopefulmum2b

2ww: Sh!t your friends say

Going deeper and deeper into the depths of my TTC months I've noticed friends can sometimes say things that frankly do not help. Don't get me wrong, some friends are supportive and understanding and some are supportive up until they plan a night out and you have changed your lifestyle so won't be getting shit faced drunk on these outings. This is what has been happening to me recently. A few of my friends are either no where near thinking about having children or just don't get TTC. This month I have changed my diet, but still allow some treats for myself. A big thing I have cut is alcohol, but I had one drink last night to appease my friend. She, ofcourse, tried to get me to drink more and when I wouldn't looked at my other friend sadly like I had become some freak. This frankly annoyed me, and I ended up going home early after a few things were said.

So here's shit your friends might say that will piss you off:

1. "You can't just not live your life and completely change your lifestyle"- The mantra of the friend who loves to get wasted and misses her drinking buddy. They don't know the desperation of the two week wait and the feeling of "I could of done this or that differently" when your period arrives. Sometimes explaining this to them falls on deaf ears.

2." Well Katie just had a baby by accident she was drunk and on the pill and just got pregnant so you can too."- great for Katie, so happy for her. But some of us have to work a little harder. Sometimes friends don't understand that everyone is different. Maybe Katie didn't have to have cancer cells removed from her cervix and doesn't have womb problems and maybe her boyfriend has crazy fertile sperm. 

3. "Just relax, don't think about it and it will happen"- This is when you tilt your head with wide eyes grinning and say "Thanks I'll try that." Not thinking about it or not sneakily typing 3dpo symptoms into google is as easy as not eating ever again in your life.

4. "But if you have a baby you can't drink/go out/party/ sleep in. Maybe it's a good thing it's not happening now."- HA OK, but you've weighed this all up and decided you're fine with very little sleep in order to create a human.

5. "It just isn't meant  to happen right now."- OK. Thanks for that.

6. "Maybe just don't talk about it so much."- I kind of get this one, sometimes the obsession can cut into your friend time. When they ask how you are maybe they don't want to hear how you lay on your back with your legs in the air for an hour instead of 20 minutes today.

7. "We spoke about it, and if you can't get pregnant I will be your surrogate."-While this is a touching gesture, it can't help but sometimes make you feel a bit lame. Like great, even they feel sorry for my inability to reproduce. 

8. "Can't you just adopt?"- Yes but we'd like to try and have a baby first if possible. Adoption is personally something I would do if I do find we can't create a baby of our own.

9. "Just have like IVF or something."-That's not how it works, you have to be assessed first.

10. "I don't get why you want a baby now, I know tons of people who've had babies at 33 and travelled the world first and been fine."- Because being a mother is the one thing I know I was meant to do? Because I've always wanted a family? 

 

Usually, the best thing to do is confront said friend and tell them how they are reacting really isn't helpful. It's easier said than done though.

Love,

Hopefulmum2b

 

Symptom Spotters Can Relate lol

Sometimes we just have to laugh at the cosmic jokes if and when we can :) 

You know you're ttc when...

...When you wish you'd borrowed a pair of calipers and actually measured your nipple size so when you're standing in front of the mirror thinking, wtf?! my nipples look HUGE, you will have an unbiased method of comparison....

Keep it going gals!

Why so much spam here???!!!!!

OMG WHY IS THERE SOOOOO MUCH SPAM ON THIS SITE??? FRUSTRATING MUCH

2ww: Mosie Baby- An honest review

Hello my lovely ladies! 

Once again I find myself on my first day of the dreaded two week wait for the 6th month. So I decided to celebrate this half way milestone by creating an honest review of the most recent fertility product we purchased in horrid desperation at 12am one Saturday. 

We have tried self inseminating at home for the last cycle, we used a syringe and let me tell you ladies! It was NOT a comfortable experience. It's already something so crazy when you're trying it for the first time. You're nervous and sad because heck you wanted to make a baby the 'normal' way and now you have to shove some plastic up there and hope for the best.

Self inseminating is great if you don't have a male partner, or great if you do have a partner and want to take some pressure off sex. I have to say, introducing this little gadget on our TTC journey has brought some JOY back into our lives guys! We had sex for FUN for the first time in months, knowing our trusty Mosie syringe was just around the corner for O days. I'm not saying it will solve all your problems, but if you're looking for an easier way to self inseminate at home before going to the doctors this is it.

DAY ONE: The kit arrives JUST in time, we ovulate in about two days time according to my period tracker. I track my CM but never really get egg white, I just know I'm ovulating through my ovulation pains. We are so excited to un pack our kit! We open it and straight away feel like this is something we are meant to do. Mosie is on your side, the box has a cute message saying let's make a baby. The pack comes with two single use syringes, a collection cup and leaflet for around $82. Using a syringe can take away some of the magic of creating a baby, but with this kit I felt like the excitement was put back in. We watched the videos and read the packs inside and felt like we finally had hope again. The videos are so informative and we felt like we had the knowledge to go forward with this new venture.

 

DAY TWO: We get right to it! I had ovulation pains and knew it was time to get our Mosie on.  I wanted to make it special for us so I ran myself a bath, listened to some Oprah Winfrey's life lessons and relaxed. I tidied up the bedroom, as if we were preparing for a special guest. I lit some candles and listened to relaxing music while I waited for my husband to bring me the goods. I used a few pillows to prop up my pelvis, in preperation and in hope gravity would do it's job. I used a little preseed to help the Mosie in as I was worried it would feel uncomfortable. I was so surprised to find it was so comfortable I hardly felt it! 

Then I lay there, and listened to the Mortified podcast for half an hour. It was nice to relax knowing we had just tried to make a baby and it didn't leave me feeling like a freak for once. Now is the classic good old waiting game. As Justin Bobby once said on The Hills- "Truth and time tells all." Boy was he right.

All my love from the UK,

Hopefulmum2b

Every Time a Bell Rings...

Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings...

 

And every time I pee on a stick somebody else gets pregnant. 

 

Hey ladies! I haven't been here for a while. Well, truth be told, I've been lurking in the shadows like a symptom spotting addict looking for my next fix. However, I haven't been posting much. Mostly because I usually don't know what to say. What can I say that all of us ladies haven't said, heard, read, and cried about a thousand times and more?

 

I've been biting my tongue for a couple years now...thinking if I hush, the universe won't know how badly I really still want to be a mother and I'd actually be allow to have a baby. Crazy, I know! But this is what ttc does to me and I'm sure there a zillion ladies out there who can relate.

 

I've also been hanging in the shadows because I know there are sooo many other women here who have been through sooo much more... Who have been trying  for much longer, and have put forth much more effort than I have so far. I've felt like I had no place to be on here venting about my story and my feelings.

 

Then, I see the perfect little newlyweds who are just blessed with conception at the time they had planned... Bless your hearts, but you make me sick lol <3

 

Then there's people on here talking about their unwanted, unplanned pregnancies... 

 

I go through so many emotions on this site... Empathy, warm fuzzies, jealous, hope, anger, inspiration, fear.

 

And then I realize that's what we're all doing. We all have different stories. We all have different bodies, backgrounds, dreams, advantages, disadvantages. We're all just beautiful women trying the best we can to make it in a world that can be ugly and cruel. 

 

So, I'm back because, I've realized it's okay that I haven't suffered as long as others and I don't have much experience to offer. But, I just appreciate having a group of such amazing women who make it so easy to be open  and communicate about such deeply personal matters in our lives.

 

I'm back because I am determined to become a mommy. I'm going to have my baby and I know most of you are hoping the same. Im back because I need you ladies on my side. Someone I can be open with. I have my DH and he is amazing. We do talk, but you ladies know how it can be. Sometimes you just need other girls who can relate :) 

 

Oh! I almost forgot about the Vitex! I used to take it but just stopped for some reason. I've been considering restarting it and went for it today. I started my first dose again this morning. I also take prenatals and folic acid which my gyno did suggest. 

 

Fingers crossed and babydust to all!

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