The world is such a cruel place... I just want to cry

Are you ready to start trying again after a loss? Ask questions or find buddies here.

Moderators: JessM, southernbelle, maddy, unaffected

The world is such a cruel place... I just want to cry

Postby zacsmum01 » Tue Aug 23, 2011 11:49 am

My hubby and I have been trying for a second baby for 3 years now.

I have 2 best friends...

Libby decided she wanted a 2nd child in March and then promptly fell PG in April, she announced it in June which was fine because I had just found out I was PG. So was thrilled we would be PG together ... then I miscarried a week later.
Its been torture watching her grow her bump and buy baby things.
I was surviving though.

Then ... my other close friend Julie told me she was broody watching Libby and she was going to start trying for a 3rd child. Once again I was thrilled to have a TTC buddy.

Tonight she told me she is PG after 1 month of trying... I feel like crying!

When she told me I just watched the 2 of them get excited about being PG together... I just congratulated her and made excuses and left.

Now I am siting at home alone with a alcohol-free bottle of wine crying my eyes out!

I cant believe my friends can decide on a whim to have a baby and then get PG straight away. I know I should be happy for them but its so hard.

I just keep thinking how difficult its going to be watching them together... Life is so cruel!

The worst thing is I am currently on my TWW and even though am certain I am not PG I cant even have a glass of wine to try and feel better...
User avatar
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Aug 23, 2011 12:00 am

Postby Lansmama » Wed Aug 24, 2011 5:52 am

I am so sorry for your loss. I am also sorry that you are going through this.
Hopefully this is your month too!
MamaDoula on the Preg. side
Me: Angela - 28
DH: Alan - 29
DD1: Alanna - Born April 1, 2008
DD2: Aubrey - Born July 16, 2010
*June 2007 - mc @ 6.5 weeks
*August 2009 - mc @ 4 weeks
*September 2009 - mc @ 6 weeks
*July 2011 - mc @ 6 weeks
**Expecting baby#3! Due April 25th, 2012**
Posts: 25
Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2009 12:00 am
Location: Ontario, Canada

Postby babyhatch » Wed Aug 24, 2011 7:02 pm

I am so sorry. I have a very similar story. My BFF got PG and it was so devastating that I cried every day for a week. Unfortunately, her pregnancy ended in a m/c and I felt even worse! As hard as it is, you just need to have your pity party and then be happy for them. Your time will come. God has a plan, and even though it may not be on your time table, it will all make sense in the end. :praying:
ME 33
DH 32
Angel baby @ 5wks Oct 2010
1 (improperly medicated) Failed IUI
1st cycle: Clomid 25mg + tamoxifen 20 mg + ovidrel= BFP

1st Beta 12dpo- 83.4 Progesterone 38.7
2nd Beta 17 dpo- 1,126

Hashimoto's (Hypothyroidism) -50mg Synthroid
User avatar
TTC Princess
TTC Princess
Posts: 205
Joined: Sat Jun 26, 2010 12:00 am

Postby HawkeyeGirl16 » Sun Aug 28, 2011 3:44 pm

:hugs: I'm so sorry for your loss. I can definitely relate to how you're feeling. I've had several family members and friends get pregnant and have a healthy baby during the time that I was trying and failing miserably... going through fertility treatments only to lose one pregnancy after another. To top it all off, I work as an OB nurse so I would see ungrateful pregnant women on a regular basis. Keep your head up! Personally, I don't think it really gets much easier to deal with these situations while you're TTC, but it will all be worth it when we finally get to hold our little ones in our arms. :praying: that it will be your turn soon.
Me: 28 DH: 30
We're TTC a little brother or sister for Mason! (Shh FB friends)
My blog:
PCOS, adenomyosis, RPL, & IC
7/09-8/10: Multiple cycles of IF medications
4/26/10 :angel: 8w3d
7/26/10 :angel: 5w0d
RPL testing: elevated anticardiolipin IgM
1/7/11: Triplet angels 19w4d due to IC Cadyn :angel: Adalyn :angel: Mikayla :angel:
5/24/11: :angel: 4w3d
6/21/11: :bfp: #5 Shirodkar cerclage & 17p
:hb: Our miracle baby Mason arrived safely 2/22/12 :hb:
October 2013: BF?
User avatar
Posts: 548
Joined: Mon Aug 10, 2009 12:00 am
Location: Midwest

Postby Shannon88 » Mon Aug 29, 2011 4:44 am

I am SOOOOO Sorry, my dear. I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. My best advice to you is to remove yourself, like you did, and seperate your anger and frustration at your own situation from their situation. Sounds silly, right? I turned into a very angry and bitter person because it was so unfair. I had to let all of that go. The world will always be unfair, people will always get things that you so badly desire and I have just had to smile and walk away. I would also encourage you to never give up hope. Once I let all of that anger and frustration go, I was able to get pregnant with this current miracle baby. I never thought it would happen and here I am 19 weeks along now. Just know that you are not the only one who feels this way and while it is completely normal, the anger and resentment is an ugly cycle to get into and so hard to overcome.

I remember seeing a lady at Walmart with 3 little girls. That poor woman probably just ran in for milk or bread, but I looked at her and thought to myself, what a horrible mother who brings those beautiful girls out without dressing them nice and having bows in their hair. Then I noticed she was pregnant. I became overcome with anger and just wanted to push her down. I had to realize that it's not her fault that she has those girls and is pregnant. It was my fault that I couldn't accept the way of the world and I let people upset me. I had to choose not to react (and that was SUPER hard). It just wasn't worth it and wasn't hurting anyone but myself. I hope my experience can help you a little bit.
~ Shannon
Proud Sub Wife to Eric ~ 05/28/05
Proud Mommy to: Jeremy Ryan ~ born safely 08/03/07
Savannah Grace ~ born into Heaven 05/18/09 at 40 weeks, 3 days
Angel 1 ~ MC 12/01/09 at 6 weeks
Angel 2 ~ MC 01/05/10 at 5 weeks
Angel 3 ~ MC 05/05/10 at 7 weeks
Angel 4 ~ MC 01/05/11 at 4 weeks
Proud Mommy to: Irelynn Elizabeth ~ born safely (just barely) 01/03/12

**Beginning Follistem injections (with timed intercourse) 4/28/2011, trigger 5/4, :bfp: 5/22, Beta HcG 699, Prog 32.4! 5/31 Beta HcG 16,120, Ultrasound 6/1 ~ 1 Baby Bean with a heartbeat! Ultrasound 6/8 Everything good! EDD 1/22/12 ~ Emergency C-section 1/3/12 Healthy Baby Girl born ALIVE!!
User avatar
Posts: 52
Joined: Fri Jul 02, 2010 12:00 am
Location: Gloucester, VA

Return to TTC After a Loss