A story and some Qs about over 40 first time TTC

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A story and some Qs about over 40 first time TTC

Postby grifter » Wed Apr 03, 2019 12:29 pm

First of all I'm the guy in this and looking for some insight/thoughts on me and my GF's situation.

I've read all the threads and some interesting stories, goes to show it's not just you going through this TTC Stuff. I admire the determination and willingness of so many to keep going in the face of so many insurmountable odds.

So my GF just turned 43 there, she'd never had kids before and neither had I, so a couple of years ago after we met, we got down to the business of trying for our own bub. We both really wanted this. Our schedules were hectic and we hardly had the chance to do the business, and most times, ironically it seemed she was on her AF! However after a wee while she did get BFP, but with our lack of knowledge in this area, discovered only too late that it was ectopic and had to go and get tube removed; if we'd have known the signs earlier maybe could have got the chemical shot but it wasn't too be. It was a horrible time, and tbh I don't think I'd really processed it until recently. It has changed my whole outlook on life, I do try and stay positive in it all and the surgeon said everything else was fine it was just unfortunate and to keep trying.

Her period seems regular 28 days and she said it seems almost better now more regular after op, she had small cyst on ovary removed too when getting tube removed. According to a diagnosis years ago she has pcos, but her internals seem clear apart from that one cyst on ovary, which I think is quite common according to doc. Not sure if it's just a mild case of pcos, but weight loss helped her cycle become more regular as well.

Since that time we have been really stressed about it and again due to schedules it's hard to BD a lot . She is now getting an ovulation test at docs as thought it would be best now to get checked before going any further. I've read so many thing online about taking supplements etc. that it is hard to know where to start. I know we are working against the odds, with age, pcos/ectopic etc. but wonder what is the best course of action, or at least what advice would you give?

It's funny as I've known a few people have first kids in their 40s, more than you'd think. Every day you go out you bump into couples with a healthy brood in tow, it's almost as if they are doing it intentionally or getting really in your way so you can't ignore it!! Hopefully we will see some good news from test, and if not maybe get clomid to help things along. I don't know how ovulation works with one tube, had heard it can only be every other month but other stories seem to say it doesn't really make that much of a difference. Imagine if you've 2 ovaries it can still release every month. No idea really.

Thanks for reading and any thoughts advice given will be really appreciated!

G
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Re: A story and some Qs about over 40 first time TTC

Postby RoloCat » Wed Apr 03, 2019 9:00 pm

So... I was never really one that wanted kids. In my 20s, when people would ask, I'd say "ask me again when I'm 30." 30 came and went, and it turned into "ask me when I"m 35." Same story there... Then I hit 40, and even though I still wasn't really ready, we knew our time was running out, so welcome to TTC at 40+...

First things first, she should start charting her cycles using an app to monitor symptoms, record opk results and BBT readings. Fertilityfriend.com is one of the more common period tracker apps. There is a free version and a subscription version. I think I paid $20 for 4 months to get the advanced version b/c it does a lot more.

Definitely start using opks (ovulation tests). There are multiple kinds in a range of prices. Don't go for the expensive digital ones. Results aren't as easy to determine when you only test once/day. And dr's tests are expensive. Get some cheap dip-stick ones off Amazon. Wondfo is the most common brand, and they are cheap--50 tests for $20 (rather than $20 for a kit of 7 POAS tests), 100 for $30-40. About 10d into the cycle, start taking them 2x/day--one in the morning, one in the evening. once tests start getting darker, add in a third one in the early afternoon. Most people record the darkest tests in the afternoon, so be sure to take that one. Make sure she has a good hold (4hr) prior to peeing on the test--you want concentrated urine. Keep testing for several days after a positive test, just to assure that the LH hormone goes away; sometimes, you don't ovulate the first LH surge, and you don't want to miss it.

Most important: start tracking BBT temperature. She will record this in her fertility tracker app, and it will help you all to figure out when (or if) she is ovulating. Once AF goes away, or 5-7d into the cycle, start taking her temperature. This needs to be done at the same time every morning, prior to getting out of bed (getting up and moving around will raise the temp), with a digital thermometer that reads to the 1/100th of a degree. Set an alarm and keep the thermometer next to the bed. just pop it in and take the temp as soon as the alarm goes off. Body temp goes up and stays up after ovulation, so you will be able to tell if/when she O'd. BUT... rule of thumb to confirm ovulation is 6d of low temps followed by at least 3d of higher temps, above the "coverline" (the highest low temp recorded in those 6 days of low temps).

By combining opks with BBT charting, you can predict when O is coming (opk will be positive 12-48hr prior to O), then confirm that it actually happened by observing sustained, higher body temps. If you get the first (+opk) without the second (higher temps), O didn't happen yet. Keep testing and temping until you confirm O. If temp never rises after an opk, that is likely an anovulatory cycle (no ovulation). Having that happen every now and then isn't a problem, but several anovulatory cycles in a row is probably something to be discussed with a fertility specialist.

Also, a "healthy" cycle will have an luteal phase (LP--the period between O and AF) that is consistent in length from one month to the next. It should be somewhere between 10-15d in length. An LP that is consistently less than 10d is also something to discuss with a fertility specialist. With a "regular" 28d cycle, O will likely happen somewhere in the CD13-CD16 range. Don't assume that O will be on CD14. Get to know her cycle. It could be just bad timing that has prevented you from conceiving in the past.

After tracking my cycle and symptoms for a year, I was 100% sure I knew when I was ovulating. Guess what? Once I started temping, realized all the symptoms I thought were ovulation were actually happening 3-4d prior to when I ovulated. Once I started using a tracker app, alone with opks and BBT charting, we got our bfp on the 3rd month. I was 40.

Remember, too, that even with perfect timing, you only have ~20% chance of conceiving every month, so once you get the timing right, it might still take a few months...

[edited to add: as for supplements, I didn't really place a lot of stock in that. The only things I did was to add 200mg CoQ10 (make sure its ubiquinol version) and to eat pineapple core for 5d after O--the bromelain helps implantation. Cut out caffeine and sugar if possible. Don't smoke. Get regular exercise.]

Good luck.
me: 41yo
DH: 42yo
married 11yrs, together 16 and just decided to start trying...

TTC#1 cycle 3:
6/10/14 CD1
6/29/14 CD20 ovulation
7/7/14 (8dpo) BFP
7/9/14 (10dpo) beta#1 hcg: 34.5 progesterone 20.8
7/11/14 (12dpo) beta#2 hcg 139
7/30/14 early u/s 6w5d HB 121
8/12/14 u/s 8w2d HB 175
9/11/12: It's a BOY!
10/29/14: 19wk ultrasound
11/26/14: 23wk ultrasound
12/23/14: 27wk ultrasound
12/31/14: gestational diabetes. Yuck.

3/6/15: Welcome to the world, Thomas Joseph "TJ" Roland (2 weeks early)
7:56pm
6lb 15oz
18in
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Re: A story and some Qs about over 40 first time TTC

Postby AmySmith » Sun Apr 07, 2019 4:36 am

40 is quite late! However, kudos to you all for trying! I really hope it works out for you. It would be a great story. I'll pray for both of you. Sending you lots of love and prayers. You can try going for assisted conception methods. I think they could be beneficial, greatly. You can do this!
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Re: A story and some Qs about over 40 first time TTC

Postby grifter » Wed Apr 17, 2019 12:23 am

Thanks for the detailed response, she is getting ov test this month and taking temps too, we'll see how results go. We are in uk so tests are free.

RoloCat wrote:So... I was never really one that wanted kids. In my 20s, when people would ask, I'd say "ask me again when I'm 30." 30 came and went, and it turned into "ask me when I"m 35." Same story there... Then I hit 40, and even though I still wasn't really ready, we knew our time was running out, so welcome to TTC at 40+...

First things first, she should start charting her cycles using an app to monitor symptoms, record opk results and BBT readings. Fertilityfriend.com is one of the more common period tracker apps. There is a free version and a subscription version. I think I paid $20 for 4 months to get the advanced version b/c it does a lot more.

Definitely start using opks (ovulation tests). There are multiple kinds in a range of prices. Don't go for the expensive digital ones. Results aren't as easy to determine when you only test once/day. And dr's tests are expensive. Get some cheap dip-stick ones off Amazon. Wondfo is the most common brand, and they are cheap--50 tests for $20 (rather than $20 for a kit of 7 POAS tests), 100 for $30-40. About 10d into the cycle, start taking them 2x/day--one in the morning, one in the evening. once tests start getting darker, add in a third one in the early afternoon. Most people record the darkest tests in the afternoon, so be sure to take that one. Make sure she has a good hold (4hr) prior to peeing on the test--you want concentrated urine. Keep testing for several days after a positive test, just to assure that the LH hormone goes away; sometimes, you don't ovulate the first LH surge, and you don't want to miss it.

Most important: start tracking BBT temperature. She will record this in her fertility tracker app, and it will help you all to figure out when (or if) she is ovulating. Once AF goes away, or 5-7d into the cycle, start taking her temperature. This needs to be done at the same time every morning, prior to getting out of bed (getting up and moving around will raise the temp), with a digital thermometer that reads to the 1/100th of a degree. Set an alarm and keep the thermometer next to the bed. just pop it in and take the temp as soon as the alarm goes off. Body temp goes up and stays up after ovulation, so you will be able to tell if/when she O'd. BUT... rule of thumb to confirm ovulation is 6d of low temps followed by at least 3d of higher temps, above the "coverline" (the highest low temp recorded in those 6 days of low temps).

By combining opks with BBT charting, you can predict when O is coming (opk will be positive 12-48hr prior to O), then confirm that it actually happened by observing sustained, higher body temps. If you get the first (+opk) without the second (higher temps), O didn't happen yet. Keep testing and temping until you confirm O. If temp never rises after an opk, that is likely an anovulatory cycle (no ovulation). Having that happen every now and then isn't a problem, but several anovulatory cycles in a row is probably something to be discussed with a fertility specialist.

Also, a "healthy" cycle will have an luteal phase (LP--the period between O and AF) that is consistent in length from one month to the next. It should be somewhere between 10-15d in length. An LP that is consistently less than 10d is also something to discuss with a fertility specialist. With a "regular" 28d cycle, O will likely happen somewhere in the CD13-CD16 range. Don't assume that O will be on CD14. Get to know her cycle. It could be just bad timing that has prevented you from conceiving in the past.

After tracking my cycle and symptoms for a year, I was 100% sure I knew when I was ovulating. Guess what? Once I started temping, realized all the symptoms I thought were ovulation were actually happening 3-4d prior to when I ovulated. Once I started using a tracker app, alone with opks and BBT charting, we got our bfp on the 3rd month. I was 40.

Remember, too, that even with perfect timing, you only have ~20% chance of conceiving every month, so once you get the timing right, it might still take a few months...

[edited to add: as for supplements, I didn't really place a lot of stock in that. The only things I did was to add 200mg CoQ10 (make sure its ubiquinol version) and to eat pineapple core for 5d after O--the bromelain helps implantation. Cut out caffeine and sugar if possible. Don't smoke. Get regular exercise.]

Good luck.
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Re: A story and some Qs about over 40 first time TTC

Postby hannahdavid » Thu Apr 18, 2019 12:29 pm

I hope your GF is soon able to conceive. My advice to you would be to visit a RE. Ask them to help you out. They will carry out some of the medical tests. On the basis of these tests, they will suggest you the best treatment. It could be medication as well. It really depends on the condition. Make sure that you both get tested.
-Low AMH and High FSH
-Poor Ovarian Reserve
-5 IUIs (failed)
-1 IVF (failed)
Life is a total mess
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Re: A story and some Qs about over 40 first time TTC

Postby grifter » Sat May 11, 2019 12:44 pm

hannahdavid wrote:I hope your GF is soon able to conceive. My advice to you would be to visit a RE. Ask them to help you out. They will carry out some of the medical tests. On the basis of these tests, they will suggest you the best treatment. It could be medication as well. It really depends on the condition. Make sure that you both get tested.


We are going to take it from what the doc is going to report back about the ov tests, this or next week I think. Strange thing happened recently, period seemed to be absent, or late, this month, I noticed she was taking frequent trips to bathroom, she didn't say but had done a poas test and it was neg. I noticed that the frequent peeing kind of stopped but came back a day or so. Am working away at the moment, so no chance to catch up, but she hadn't had AF and that was 2 days ago, not sure if it's arrived since. Didn't see any other symptoms that you usually read about so put it down to late ovulation or no ovulation plus no (+) test. Periods usually quite regular although I think she has missed a period before that I am aware.
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Re: A story and some Qs about over 40 first time TTC

Postby hannahdavid » Sun May 19, 2019 1:07 pm

Good luck to you. It's a good sign that things are working out for your partner. I hope that is how it is. Just make sure to visit a doctor that is experienced and knows how to carry the plan. Also, change your diets! Start eating more healthy food as that is good for the body and for TTC. Sending baby dust your way. Do keep us updated.
-Low AMH and High FSH
-Poor Ovarian Reserve
-5 IUIs (failed)
-1 IVF (failed)
Life is a total mess
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Posts: 465
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Re: A story and some Qs about over 40 first time TTC

Postby grifter » Fri Jun 07, 2019 11:11 am

Result from blood test was 3 and 21 day, 3 day was fine (not sure what they tested) and day 21 was showing as hadn't ovulated. However she has got an average 37 day cycle, doc said either hadn't ovulated yet, or just hadn't ovulated. She took another test, during the afternoon and was neg, seems like AF is coming on now. Had increasingly sore boobs for the last few weeks and really sore the other day, seems to be about right on time, last period 27th March, missed period start of May, and due around this time for June. Meant to ask about inositol, does anyone know if choline inositol is basically myo-inositol as she is now taking this, plus pregnacare preconception & omega 3. About to start upping Vit D too. Also getting thyroid test results this week see if that is low. They tested last year and said it was ok, but on the ovulation test the doc said it was borderline, so doing another test for thyroid.
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