Struggling

Any and all topics infertility-related, including treatment, emotions, and questions.

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Re: Struggling

Postby Penka » Wed Aug 29, 2018 11:26 pm

Sorry to hear about your divorce. I am also infertile. But my husband is supporting me at every stage. After many years of TTC. We hadn't any luck. So we went for checkups but there was no issue between us. We were worried. Further we went for more tests but same negative results. Doctors can't even tell the reason behind my infertility. I was worried. But my husband supported me. He said we can go for some other procedure to have a baby. I started looking for other methods like IVF and IUI. But both didn't worked for me. So at the end we end up in choosing surrogacy. Surrogacy is successful for many people. I hope it will be for me too. We have contacted a clinic too and soon we will start our journey there. Good luck everyone.
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Re: Struggling

Postby @whenmytruerainbow » Mon Sep 17, 2018 7:47 am

Mildred12 wrote:I know what you are feeling. This is hard I can feel that. I am diagnosed with endometrial cancer. And this is what I never expected. It was so unbelievable. And the worst was when we were treated so badly by lotus clinic. that was the time when we needed help the most. I could not still figure out why me? I was all broken because of all this. But my DH said that we can't give up. We will find some soltuion. we will stay strong and positive. Life holds many things for you. And all of them are not in your favor. The best way to fight all the negativity is to stay strong. I am sending more power and luck to you. I hope you will stay strong.

I'm just keep on hearing about this LOtus clinic which treats people badly :? Dear luv, could you tell what did they do to you? Sounds like you didn't get what you expected. Could you specify.
It's absolutely nice you're sharing your experience here. for people to avoid scammers. we appreciate.
I'm glad you have a supportive dh by side. It's so important to have someone to relay on and if it's your husband you're really lucky. Mine has always been the rock of support for me. Even when I felt heartbroken, crushed and knocked out from normal life he was the one to say ''Come on girl, we'll do it!'' We've been through ivf rounds with own eggs - all unsuccessful. Did 2 lapos which brought no actual result. then turned to donor eggs abroad at bio texcom. After years of trying and failed treatments we got luck with the 1st donor egg cycle. Saw bfp for the first time in my life!! Everyone's path is different but every step is a step closer. I'm wishing you peace in your heart that will make you forget your bad experience. Hoping for your luck with further treatments. Hugs x
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Re: Struggling

Postby Jessiquoi » Fri Sep 21, 2018 5:04 am

Wait. Your husband hasn’t been tested? You don’t get to feel bad for him until he gets his butt into the doctor’s office and gives a sample. 40% chance it’s his issue (even if he “feels” fine). We always blame ourselves. I did and it turns out my husband was the problem. (He was hesitant too because it’s emasculating).
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Re: Struggling

Postby hannahdavid » Thu Jan 17, 2019 12:06 pm

Hey, I am sorry to know that this month things weren't in your favor. However, if you have been trying for this long why dont you consider assisted conception. These treatments might be able to help you. I am in a very similar boat where things didn't work for us. We had to recently switch the doctor in the hope that things would for us. This is because it is said that if the doctor is experienced then there are more chances of success. Therefore, I did a lot of research. I made sure I looked at the clinic's success rate. I also made sure that the doctors were experienced and professionals. This was important as they should know how to carry the process out. It is because of this research that things are going so well for us. Really hoping for the best in the future as well. Good luck to you. Sending baby dust your way. Dont lose hope.
-Low AMH and High FSH
-Poor Ovarian Reserve
-5 IUIs (failed)
-1 IVF (failed)
Life is a total mess
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Re: Struggling

Postby AmySmith » Fri Jan 18, 2019 11:28 am

Don't be too hard on yourself, hun. That's the most important thing. Bad days are common, but don't let them affect you in general. Infertility is quite common, and so is conceiving with it. Hopefully, it's nothing and you conceive fairly quickly! Good luck on your TTC journey. Baby dust and love.
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Re: Struggling

Postby SandraTiano » Thu Jan 24, 2019 9:16 am

Hi Andi! I am so sorry for what you are going through. This journey is not as easy as it seems. It takes a lot of strength and patience to endure all this. If your tests are normal then something's wrong with your husband tbh. It's important for both partners to get tested. You have tried for 1 year, it's time for you to move on to fertility clinics. Convince your husband for tests, they are very important right now. You need to find a good clinic asap. They will run some tests and guide you in the right direction. Don't worry dear, this is not a big problem nowadays. Good luck! Stay blessed! Bye!
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Re: Struggling

Postby @whenmytruerainbow » Mon Mar 18, 2019 4:41 am

The possibility of IVF not working for me was agonising. Sadly enough, our ovaries do not care if you are a vegan, gluten-free marathoner. We all are born with a finite number of eggs. With age, both the number and quality of these eggs decreases. Obesity, high blood pressure, and diabetes can further impede the ability to get pregnant..Moreover, they can cause complications during the pregnancy itself. Staying healthy is important to maximize chances of conceiving. We may be wondering if all those fertility stats are all doom and gloom. And why does it seem like there are so many fabulous forty-somethings with babies at the playground? There are still a lot of women getting pregnant and having normal healthy pregnancies in their forties. Another consideration is that a majority of women over 40 use donor eggs.. I'm sure that the huge proportion of success is tied to the age of the eggs.. :roll:
I myself ended with using donor eggs with IVF abroad. I was 40 yrs old then with endo and pcos. We ttc for 2 yrs with no luck. Tried two fresh cycles with own eggs - not a singly sign of bfp, sadly. Our dr told us on egg were useless for the further use, so we tried to seek luck with DE.
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Re: Struggling

Postby @whenmytruerainbow » Mon Mar 18, 2019 4:52 am

Lovelies, fertility issues are never easy to deal with. For some height of spirits, please, do get out of the house and do stuff! Movies, work, exercise etc. Assuming if your doc is cool with this. Shop, spend the money you are ''saving'' from NOT buying pregnancy tests. You must be intrigued with answers, but do your best to keep sane whilst this journey! Do take a friend out for coffee-decaf as you might this prefer now. Buy an adult colouring book. I would suggest sth like writing a list of things you want to do. You can check one-two off a day then. And on the top af all- Be kind to yourself!! You’ve invested a lot of money and emotions into having a baby through investigations/ treatments. As the days go on the emotions heighten. Also confidence shrinks..We all know how it feels while waiting. Don’t expect too much from yourself at this stage!! It’s a really exhausting time. Surround yourself with positive people!! This surely isn’t the time about being selfish to your friends and family’s needs. It’s more about not being around people who tell you that maybe it’s time to start thinking about adoption..This all is about self preservation, because it's your personal journeys - no one understands better than you. May god help you on the way.
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Re: Struggling

Postby @whenmytruerainbow » Mon Mar 18, 2019 5:09 am

Jessiquoi wrote:Wait. Your husband hasn’t been tested? You don’t get to feel bad for him until he gets his butt into the doctor’s office and gives a sample. 40% chance it’s his issue (even if he “feels” fine). We always blame ourselves. I did and it turns out my husband was the problem. (He was hesitant too because it’s emasculating).

I've done a small research on this point. Male are half responsible for how fertility plan's moving on. So male partner should always be tested for issues. Dr may also have a frank discussion with a man about his sex life. (Including any problems he's had or whether he has or ever had any STDs. The man is more likely to be asked to give a sample of semen for analysis. Finding out the cause of infertility in man can be challenging. Male infertility specialists have different ways of doing that. Here's some to expect:
An expert checks sperm count, their shape, movement, and other characteristics. In general, if the man has a higher number of normal-shaped sperm, it means he has higher fertility. But there are plenty of exceptions to this. A lot of guys with low sperm counts/ abnormal semen are still fertile!And about 15% of infertile men have normal semen and plenty of normal sperm. If the first semen analysis is normal, doctor may order a second test to confirm the results. Two normal tests usually mean he doesn't have any significant infertility problems. If something in the results looks unusual, doctor might order more tests to pinpoint the problem. If the man doesn't have any semen or sperm at all, it might be because of a blockage in his "plumbing". It can be corrected with surgery.
Physical Exam can find varicoceles. This can be corrected with surgery. Then hormone evaluation.
Hormones control the making of sperm. Keep in mind, though, that hormones aren't the main problem in about 97% of infertile men. Genetic testing can identify specific obstacles to fertility and problems with sperm. Yet another fact is that some men make abnormal antibodies that attack the sperm on the way to the egg, which keeps the partner from getting pregnant.
Also there are several reasons men might have low sperm in semen even if your body makes enough of it: The man is missing the main sperm pipeline - It's a genetic problem. Some men are born without a main pipeline for sperm.
Obstruction. There can be a blockage anywhere between the testicles and the penis.
Anti-sperm antibodies - They attack sperm on the way to the egg.
So it's better not to hesitate to get tests to check fertility. When both partners do this, it will help figure out what's going on, and let learn about treatment.
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